Kickstart your mornings with a dose of laughter! In need of a little pick-me-up to start your day on the right note?Look no further! Our collection of funny good morning quotes is guaranteed to bring a smile to your face and set a positive tone for the day ahead.Whether you're looking to share a chuckle with friends or simply lift your own spirits,these witty and humorous quotes are sure to do the trick.Let the laughter begin!
Funny Good Morning Quotes:
1. “Coffee before a conversation.Always.”– Unknown
3. "Any morning message the good Lord lets you open your eyes that’s a day He has something for you to do." ? Anonymous
4. "Life kisses our faces every morning.Yet,between morning and evening,she laughs at our sorrows." ? Kahlil Gibran
5. “Some people wake up drowsy.Some people wake up energized.I wake up dead.” — James Marsden
6. "As you ramble through life,whatever be your goal; keep your eye upon the doughnut,and not upon the hole." ? Irish Saying
7. “Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell,which is why I don’t do them anymore.” — Rachel Caine
8. “My routine is to ride that snooze button as far as it will take me,take a quick shower,get dressed in the dark,and bolt out the door.” — Willie Geist
9. "Before you put on a frown,make absolutely sure there are no smiles available." ? Jim Beggs
10. “There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.” — Kristen Chandler
Funny Good Morning One Liners:
11. "Wonder what would happen if,some morning,we’d wake up and say, “Anything I can do for You today,Lord?" ? Burton Hillis
12. “Do you wish me a good morning,or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?” — J.R.R.Tolkien
13. “I yawned and stretched luxuriously in the morning.I make noises when I stretch because it feels ten times better than stretching silently.” — Kevin Hearne
14. "Getting a good start in the morning is the difference between having a mentally and physically good day and a terrible day." ? Sumit Gautam
76. “The only good Monday is a Monday in bed.” ? Lee Horton
15. "There are no traffic jams along the extra mile." ? Roger Staubach
16. “Some bad mornings I just feel like breaking the damn alarm but then one thing always stops me.I paid hundreds of dollars to buy my phone.” — Job Might
17. “Sometimes I wake up and think I should start wearing a beret,but I don’t do it.” — Mitch Hedberg
18. “When reality and dreams collide,typically it’s just your alarm clock going off.” — Crystal Woods
19. "You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom" ? Anonymous
20. “So far as I know,anything worth hearing is not usually uttered at seven o’clock in the morning; and if it is,it will generally be repeated at a more reasonable hour for a larger and more wakeful audience.” — Moss Hart
Funny Early Morning Quotes for a Positive Start:
21. “Birds scream at the top of their lungs in horrified hellish rage every morning at daybreak to warn us all of the truth,but sadly we don’t speak bird.” — Kurt Cobain
22. “Today is a new day.Even if you were wrong yesterday,you can get it right today.” – Dwight Howard
23. "It’s how do you say “good morning” to the people along the way,And it’s how do you face your troubles whenever your skies are gray." ? Edgar
24. "Lose an hour in the morning and you’ll be running after it all day. " ? English Proverb
25. “I’m sorry for people who don’t drink.They wake up in the morning,that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” — Frank Sinatra
26. “Mornings are almost clean slates.I say almost because the residue of yesterday is sometimes stuck on them.” — Medeia Sharif
27. “Morning not only forgives, it forgets.” — Marty Rubin
28. “In the morning, I woke like a sloth in the fog.” — Leslie Connor
29. "Our snooze button does not have the power to delay the sun from rising in the morning. Time simply does not wait for anyone." ? Ted Robbins
30. “Never face facts; if you do you’ll never get up in the morning.” — Marlo Thomas
Short Funny Good Morning Quotes:
31. “Good morning is a contradiction of terms.” — Jim Davis
32. “A morning cup of coffee is my favorite way of starting the day, settling the nerves so that they don’t later fray.” — Marcia Carrington
33. “I hate mornings,they start so early.” — Janet Evanovich
34. "Lost time is like a run in a stocking.It always gets worse." ? Anne Morrow Lindbergh
35. “I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off.” — Jarod Kintz
36. “Morning will come,it has no choice.” — Marty Rubin
37. “Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.” — David Lynch
38. “You feel a little older in the morning.By noon I feel about 55.” — Bob Dole
39. “To greet a lovely morning,we much leave the night behind.” – Tarang Sinha
40. “Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.” — Ursula Le Guin
Cute Funny Good Morning Quotes:
41. “Moist groaned.It was the crack of seven and he was allergic to the concept of two seven o’clocks in one day.” — Terry Pratchett
42. “Everyone wants me to be a morning person.I could be one,only if morning began after noon.” — Tony Smite
43. "Never rest on your laurels.Nothing wilts faster than a laurel sat upon. " ? Mary Kay
44. “Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id,and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield.” — Catherynne Valente
45. “The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.” — Dorothy Parker
46. “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas.How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.” — Groucho Marx
47. “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
48. “It sounds plausible enough tonight,but wait until tomorrow.Wait for the common sense of the morning.” — H.G. Wells
49. “Love is blind.Especially in the morning,because I can’t see a damn thing before having coffee.” — Aleksandra Ninkovic
50. “I’m not an early bird at all.Ideally,on Saturday morning I’d allow myself a lovely lie-in.10:45 would be just right.” — Shilpa Shetty
Funny Good Morning Coffee Quotes:
51. "You’ve got to get up every morning with determination if you’re going to go to bed with satisfaction." ? George Lorimer
52. "Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open." ? Thomas Dewar
53. “Morning is wonderful.Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.” — Glen Cook
54. "Rest but never quit.Even the sun has a sinking spell each evening.But it always rises the next morning. " ? Muhammad Ali
55. “Everyone should experience a sunrise at least once a day.” — Phil Dunphy
56. "Hope is a renewable option: If you run out of it at the end of the day,you get to start over in the morning." ? Barbara Kingsolver
57. “Every single day I wake up and make up my mind that I am going to work really hard.Then my mind laughs at me and says ‘Good joke.’Then we laugh for some more time and I go back to bed.” — Gehenna Toss
58. "Striving for success without hard work is like trying to harvest where you haven’t planted. " ? David Bly
59. “It’s okay to look at the past and the future.Just don’t stare.” – Benjamin Dover
60. “No one likes Tuesday morning but at least it’s not Monday morning.” – Bev Johnston
Funny Black Good Morning Quotes:
61. “I love the early hours of the day.It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.” — James Lileks
62. “Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.” — Punit Ghadge
63. “Progress isn’t made by early risers.It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.” — Robert Heinlein
64. "Until God opens the next door,praise Him in the hallway. " ? Nicky Gumbel
65. “The average,healthy,well-adjusted adult gets up at seven?thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.” — Jean Kerr
66. "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” ?Thomas A.Edison
67. “Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness.Maybe two coffees and then kindness.” — Nanea Hoffman
68. “Now that your eyes are open,make the sun jealous with your burning passion to start the day.Make the sun jealous or stay in bed.” – Malak El Halabi
69. “I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper.Then I look at the obituary page.If my name is not on it,I get up.” — Benjamin Franklin
70. "You wake up in the morning and lo! Your purse is magically filled with twenty?four hours of the unmanufactured tissue of the universe of your life.It is yours." ? Arnold Bennett
Funny Quotes on Good Morning That Guaranteed to Make You Chuckle:
71. “Lose an hour in the morning and you will spend all day looking for it.” — Richard Whately
72. "What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say." ? Ralph Waldo Emerson
73. “Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America.If I’m not there,I go to work.” — Robert Orben
74. “What do sharks do on Monday mornings? They get up and start biting.That’s me.” ? Gemma Collins
75. “Every Monday you wake up is a day to make a change.” ? Irvine Welsh
77. “When life gives you Monday,dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.” – Ella Woodward
78. “I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.” — Lewis Black
79. “Monday isn’t that bad,to be honest,What makes it bad is living in it.” ? Day
80. “Monday is for people with a mission.” ? Christina Imre
Motivational Funny Black Good Morning Quotes to Brighten Your Day:
81. “So. Monday.We meet again.We will never be friends – but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.” ? Julio Alexi Genao
82. “The best weeks start on Monday.” ? Nice Peter
83. “Don’t let a day of the week have so much power over your happiness.Happy Monday!” ? Andrea L’Artiste
84. “Your body tells you what it needs,and if you sleep past your alarm on a Saturday morning,it’s probably because you need the sleep.” — Sophia Bush
85. “If each day is a gift,I’d like to know where to return Mondays!” – John Wagner
86. “I have to be alone very often.I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment.That’s how I refuel.” — Audrey Hepburn
87. “Don’t let the Monday morning quarterbacks stop you from being bold.You’ve got to set a high bar.” — Antonio Villaraigosa
88. “Although I understand that all days are equal with 24 hours each,most of us agree that Friday is the longest day of the week and Sunday the shortest! D.S.” ? Mixell
89. “Be in the habit of getting up bright and early on the weekends.Why waste such precious time in bed? – Marilyn Vos Savant
90. “Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.” ? Joseph Addison
Funny Good Morning Quotes to Start The Day:
91. “How I long for the day to come when Sunday is every day of the week.” ? Byron Pulsifer
92. “Time flows in a strange way on Sundays.” ? Haruki Murakami
93. “Good morning Sunday,wish it was Saturday.” ? Bev Johnston
94. “The goal of Sunday is to leave my home as little as possible.” ? Mark Morris
95. “I’m easy like Sunday morning.” — Commodores
96. “You know what Sunday is,and it’s a day with a lot of potential for naps.” ? Polly Horvath
97. “Sunday,the day for the language of leisure.” ? Elfriede
98. “SUNDAY – The day I planned a lot but did nothing.” ? Lovely Goyal
99. “Feeling blessed,never stressed.Got that sunshine on my Sunday best.” — Surfaces,“Sunday Best”
100. “Sundays tend to be a day where just I do nothing but visit people.It’s kind of like trick-or-treating.” ? Chuck Palahniuk
Funny Good Morning Quotes For Friends:
101. “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin
102. “My morning ritual: snooze,regret,repeat.”– Unknown
103. “I think I’m allergic to morning.”– Unknown
104. “Help…I’ve run out of weekend!”– Unknown
105. “I’m only a morning person on December 25th.”– Unknown
106. “Good Morning! At the beginning of a new stressful day.”– Unknown
107. “God created the sleep,and the devil created an alarm clock.”– Unknown
108. “I put the‘pro’in procrastinate every morning.” – Unknown
109. “Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.”
110. “I wake up with a good attitude every day.Then idiots happen”
Sassy Good Morning Quotes:
111. “5 minutes of extra sleep in the morning seriously does matter…”
112. “A person falls asleep the fastest when he turns off the alarm clock.” – Unknown
113. “I need coffee because adulting is hard,and mornings are stupid.” – Unknown
114. “I could be a morning person if morning happen to be around noon.”
115. “I was beautiful,rich,sexy … and then the alarm rang! Good Morning!”
116. “Good morning world! Your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.”
117. “Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I am functioning at full capacity.”
118. “Getting up early is the first step in the wrong direction! Good Morning!”
119. “I smiled right after getting up.I think I dislocated my face.Good Morning!”
120. “Good morning! Wishing you a day full of sunny smiles and happy thoughts.”
Funny Good Morning Memes:
121. “My bed and I love each other but the alarm clock is not clear! Good Morning!”
122. “Me & Morning don’t see eye to eye,mostly because I don’t want to open mine!”
123. “Coffee: a magical nectar that turns ‘leave me alone or die’ into ‘Good Morning’”.
124. “Of course,I can start the day motivated.Just not in the morning! Good Morning!”
125. “When the light of the sun reaches over the horizon … I turn around and go to sleep again.Good Morning.” – Unknown
126. “Good morning to a friend who never stresses anything because you always sleep!”
127. “Best feeling ever: when you check your alarm clock and you have 3 hours left to sleep.”
128. “My bed and me,we love each other,only the alarm clock will not accept it.Good Morning!”
129. “I hate that part of the morning where I have to get out of my bed and participate in real life.”
130. “Me every night : I don’t need to sleep; Me every morning: I need to sleep for 3 days straight.”
Funny Good Morning Quotes For Family:
131. “Good Morning! Open your mouth wide! I’ll just keep going and put that coffee right in there!”
132. “Good morning clan! Now let’s straighten out all our astral body and assume a correct shit-no-attitude!”
133. “Good morning has moved,he now lives with good mood and beautiful day in a country before our time.”
134. “Sneezing,coughing,burping,farts.My body makes a soundcheck in the morning. Good Morning to you!”
135. “The coffee was added successfully.This body can now be started.Good Morning!”
136. “There are two kinds of people in this world: Morning people and people who want to shoot morning people.” – Unknown
137. “In bed,its 6 AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes,its 7:45.At school its 1:30,close your eyes for 5 minutes,its 1:31” – Unknown
138. “If laziness was an Olympic discipline,I would be fourth so I do not have to get on the podium. Good Morning!” – Unknown
139. “The three biggest enemies of a morning muffle are: daylight,fresh air and the unbearable roar of the birds! Good Morning!” – Unknown
140. “I love sleeping but I never want to go to sleep early…I stay up late every night,regret it every morning.Then do it all over again.” – Unknown
Best Funny Good Morning Quotes:
141. “I always say ‘MORNING’ instead of ‘GOOD MORNING’ if it were a good morning,I would still be asleep in bed instead of talking to people” – Unknown
142. “I was part of the world of the beautiful and rich in eternal sunshine and parties.Then my Good morning alarm just woke me up.Good Morning!” – Unknown
143. “Hello,I am the morning fairy.I just dusted you with joy and luck.Now laugh and be happy.Do you know how expensive that is? Good Morning!” – Unknown
144. “There it is again,the gruesome,the brutal and the nasty one that steals your dreams.Good morning he is called,this nasty little thing.Good Morning!” – Unknown
145. “I drink coffee for your protection.”
146. “’Be strong’ I whisper to my coffee.”
147. “A yawn is a silent scream for coffee…”
148. “I like my bed more than I like most people.”
149. “I don’t like morning people…or mornings…or people.”
150. “My mom said follow your dreams,so I went back to bed.”
Funny Good Morning Quotes For Morning Sweet Coffee:
151. “I need something more than coffee but less than cocaine.”
152. “He who gets up early … is sleepy all day!” Good Morning!”
153. “Hey you with all that energy of 6 a.m….You’re not human.”
154. “Tomorrow will come,you have no choice.” Good Morning!”
155. “You have a message: Wake up,you loafer!” Good Morning!”
156. “Drink some coffee and pretend you know what you’re doing.”
157. “All the coffee beans in Colombia won’t make me a morning person.”
158. “Good Morning! Come on,get up! The day does not mess up by itself.”
159. “Why do they call it ‘beauty sleep’ when you wake up looking like a troll.”
160. “Workout in the morning before your brain figures out what you’re doing.”
Funny Good Morning Quotes For Her To Make Her Smile:
161. “I was gonna take over the world this morning but I overslept.Postponed. ”
162. “My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning,so I stayed home to take care of it.”
163. “Me and morning don’t see eye to eye,mostly because I don’t want to open mine.”
164. “Trust me,when I woke up today,I had no plans to be awesome.But shit happens.”
165. “If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee,you have to take the spoon out of the cup. ”
166. “I can’t get out of my bed because my cat is laying on me.Today has been cancelled.”
167. “Happy day to all those who have the privilege and joy of knowing me.” Good Morning!”
168. “Why can’t the morning news ever say ‘Today has been cancelled,now go back to sleep.”
169. “Do you remember that moment when you wake up in the morning with full of energy?”
170. “Some people wake up fast.Some people wake up slowly.I wake up dead. ” Good Morning!”
Funny Good Morning Quotes For Her:
171. “Dreaming does not cost anything,what it costs is having to get up.” Good Morning Friday!”
172. “My idea of Good Morning is one when I open my eyes, take a deep breath,then go back to sleep.”
173. “Alarm set for 6:00 am,wakes up at 5:59 am.Who else lies back down to cherish that last minute of sleep?”
174. “Morning is wonderful.Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.” – Glen Cook
175. “Love is blind.Especially in the morning,because I can not see a damn thing before drinking coffee.” – Unknown
176. “I’ve started drinking my coffee out of a clear mug,so people will know where my tolerance level is at.” – Unknown
177. “Sometimes people want to have a full conversation in the morning,and it’s okay to kill those people.” – Unknown
178. “When I wake from a nap no one can talk to for at least 45 minutes because I’m 350% more ugly and 900% more mad.” – Unknown
179. “When late morning rolls around and you’re feeling a bit out of sorts,don’t worry; you’re probably just a little eleven o’clockish.” – Unknown
180. “Good morning Handsome! Have a great day,I love you.”
Funny Good Morning Quotes For Him:
181. “Telling yourself that you’ll get up early in the morning to do something,then in the morning convincing yourself that it’s not important.” – Unknown
182. “I always say ‘Morning’ instead of ‘Good Morning’…because if it were a good morning,I would still be asleep in bed instead of talking ton people.” – Unknown
183. “Good morning,little dormouse.I wonder when you will learn to arrive early to your appointments.Your girlfriend has already left with the one on the corner.” – Unknown
184. “I love how coffee fixes everything.Tired? Drink coffee.Headache? Drink coffee.Cold? Drink coffee.Someone makes you angry? Bust them in the head with the cup.” – Unknown
185. “Some mornings I just feel like breaking the damn alarm but then one thing always stops me.I paid hundreds of dollars to buy my phone.” – Unknown
186. “I wish you a fragrant coffee and a short Monday.Good Morning!”
187. “A good husband is never the first to go to sleep at night or the last to wake up in the morning.Good Morning Hubby!” – Unknown
188. “Good morning.Have a cup of coffee and start your engines because it’s still a long way before you reach the weekend.” – Unknown
189. “I love to kiss you on the lips early in the morning but darling,you really need to brush your teeth at first.Good morning!” – Unknown
190. “You’re a charming prince in my dreams but a nightmare in my mornings.That’s why I love to sleep so much.Good morning!” – Unknown
Funny Good Morning More Quotes:
191. “Good morning dear.Let’s welcome one more day in our life in which we try our best to put up with each other.Best wishes to you!” – Unknown
192. “You are annoying like the alarm clock.But at least I have someone to yell at when I wake up in the morning.Good morning dear!” – Unknown
193. “Your good morning text is my motivation to start every day.Don’t ever forget to text me in the morning unless you want to have a bad day! Good morning!” – Unknown
194. “Good luck to your waking up at the noon,reading this good morning text on your phone,and then going back to sleep again thinking it’s still early in the morning.” – Unknown
195. “Why does the morning have to start so early? I need more time to dream of the guy who gives me weak knees every day.Good Morning!” – Unknown
196. “My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.”
197. “Every morning reminds me of how lucky I am to have someone as special as you.” – Unknown
198. “Twinkle twinkle sleepy star,wake up now it’s the eleventh hour,up above the world so high,the sun has risen in the sky.” – Unknown
199. “Your good morning text and a cup of coffee make a perfect combination of happiness in the morning! Good morning sweetheart!” – Unknown
200. “I always wake up smiling… I think it’s your fault.”
Wrap up your morning routine with a sprinkle of humor!Our selection of funny good morning quotes has provided endless amusement and positivity to jumpstart your day. Remember,laughter is the best medicine,so keep these witty quotes handy for those mornings when you need an extra dose of cheer.Share them with friends,family,or colleagues to spread the joy and brighten everyone's day.Start each morning with a smile,a chuckle,and the knowledge that today is going to be great!
By: QuotidianVerse team.
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